Depression is a battle that screams a thousand silent words and expressions. It is a vent into the abyss of the unknown, yet it is considered a ‘safe’ place for the fighter. The stigma takes a personal form which keeps you fixed on that spot; with your dreaded surroundings providing no answers whatsoever to your desperate pleas and questions: “what should I do? Help me!”
The sound of laughter fills the air and it brings a certain longing for you to say hello, to laugh with them and to socialise. However the further down the stairs you go, the longer the staircase seems to be, until the cloak of depression covers you and wraps you up again. Now it feels safer to be wrapped up. Suddenly the laughter sounds frightening. It feels ok to hide. It is like being snuggled up in bed without having the desire to leave. Motivation starts to ebb away.
But no. Like reality, the cloak/duvet has to be whipped off at some point. After all, you’re in a battle. Not a physical battle, but a mental battle. “You are loved! You are beautiful, funny and intelligent! One day things will get better. Trust me, they will get better!”
Sounds cheesy, doesn’t it? Like one of those cringe worthy clips you witness out of a movie (don’t worry, I confess I got that image too). But sometimes you almost forget how important those words really are. That voice is YOUR voice. That voice loves YOU.
If only things were so easy.
That is only one side of the battle. The other side needs no words: I’ll leave that to your imagination. And then there are the effects.
Wounded from the ongoing battle, your limping remains invisible as you greet the rest of the world. Eventually however, you may not go entirely unnoticed; even a mask wears off after a while. And when asked how you are…
The voice deep down: “I am not ok. I am not expecting you to be my therapist, I just need a friend. I don’t know which way round it is; but here, actions speak louder than words. It’s ok if you don’t have the right words to say – but your actions can say a lot. I may want to talk, cry, vent from time to time, and that’s ok. I may feel negative in myself, and this may take time. But having you is like having an ally in the battle. However I don’t want to drag you down in this. I’d feel like a burden. I don’t know what I want.”
The actual voice: “I’m fine”.
The hidden speech above can be interpreted in different ways. Sometimes it is hard to see through the lens of another person, and it is not meant to sound the way it may to some. Sometimes silence, or “I’m fine”, feels like a better alternative because of the fear of pushing people away due to negativity.
Seeking medical help is important. However the daily battle of depression still has to be fought. Sometimes people struggle to express themselves and may not feel like themselves.
But just remember: they are still that person that you know and love.
Perspective 